Imagine organizing an adults-only gathering at your house. You’ve invited your closest friends, but one of them is a single mom who can’t afford childcare. What do you say when they ask to bring their kids? One woman on Reddit said a resounding “no.” Now the mom’s upset and accusing them of excluding her. Here’s the story.
They Have a Friendship Group From High School
The Original Poster (OP) starts by describing how she has a friend group that’s stayed in touch since high school. These days, they’re all in their mid-twenties and have significant others – except Jessica, a single mom with two kids.
She’s The Only One Who Can Host
OP’s the only one who can host when they want to get together. Some live with parents, others have housemates who don’t want it happening at their place, and they live somewhere rural, which means they can’t really do much else to socialize. By contrast, OP has a good-sized house that can accommodate everyone.
OP Has a No Kids Rule
However, there’s a problem: not only does OP like hosting at about 7pm (by which time most of them aren’t working), but she also has a strict no kids rule. Why? Partly because she doesn’t like children anyway. Secondly, because her dog’s scared of them and growls. And, third, because she’s had bad experiences of kids being at her house in the past – more on this later.
OP Arranged a BBQ
Last weekend, OP decided to host a dinnertime BBQ at her place. It was the same rules as always: everyone’s welcome, except from kids. Unfortunately, that didn’t work well for Jessica…
Jessica Asked Anyway
Jessica asked OP whether she’d be able to bring her children to the BBQ. She explained how there’s nobody else to care for them (their two dads aren’t involved with childcare) and she doesn’t have enough money to pay for a babysitter.
OP Said No
OP held firm and said no to Jessica’s request. After all, the dog doesn’t like them and she doesn’t want kids at her house. Moreover, the last time Jessica brought her kids over a) she kept trying to get everyone else to take care of them and b) her toddler vomited on her expensive white couch. OP ended up having to replace it – and Jessica didn’t pay.
Jessica Was Upset
Jessica was not happy. In fact, she was hugely upset, blowing up on OP in their group chat and saying she always excluded her. OP replied by saying the only people being excluded were children. And not just Jessica’s kids – all kids. OP told her she’s welcome to come over if she could find childcare first. She followed up by saying Jessica’s welcome to host, too. Now Jessica’s not talking to any of them.
The Group’s Divided
The others in the group had different thoughts on OP’s stance. Some say she can make whatever rules she likes because it’s her house. One of them was on OP’s side. And a couple of the others thought she should just let her children come over, too. Yet from OP’s perspective, she doesn’t really like Jessica anyway.
Reddit’s Torn, Too
OP turned to Reddit to get other people’s perspectives. Just like her friendship group, some of them were on her side, while others, well…weren’t. One of the most upvoted comments sat somewhere in-between:
“Let’s be real. You are not Jessica’s friend and you make excuses, some semi reasonable and some a little farfetched. Jessica needs better friends, but your house your rules.”
Some Support OP’s Decision
Many people did side with OP, though. One person wrote:
“NTA, you don’t want kids in your house and you are free to make the rules. That you weren’t compensated when damage was caused by her kids affirms your choice.” Another agreed, saying “No, you exclude her kids. She’s your friend, not them… Her inability or unwillingness to accept this solution is on her and her alone.”
Others Think Nobody Comes Off Well
A few other comments on the Reddit thread were ambivalent about everyone in OP’s story. Nearly_Pointless wrote, “Is it wrong that I don’t care for any of these people?” to which another user said, “I wouldn’t be friends with them either.”
Whose Side Are You On?
You’ve read the story and heard the different opinions. So what do you think? Who’s wrong here? Should OP have been more understanding and let Jessica’s kids come over? Or was she justified saying no? Drop a comment with your thoughts!
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1 thought on “This Poor Single Mom Can’t Attend a Gathering of Close Friends Because the Host Refuses to Let Her Bring Her Kids. Is She Right to Feel Excluded?”
ADULTS ONLY party…Your house, your rules, it’s simple. Her reasons seem valid. It’s unfortunate that that impedes Jessica from attending but as an alternative she should host a party at her own place & set her own rules.