A man recently turned to Reddit for advice after his ex-girlfriend started asking for child support. The issue? 13 years have passed since he was part of her life. Oh, and she hadn’t wanted him there for the baby in the first place…
She Got Pregnant Unexpectedly
The story begins years earlier when the Original Poster (OP) was with his then-girlfriend, Claire. She’d got pregnant while they were dating – an outcome he didn’t mind, but that set the wheels in motion for all sorts of future problems.
He Felt Ready to Be a Father
Claire told him she wanted to be friends rather than continue as an item. OP, on the other hand, felt ready to be a dad. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be…
She Met Someone Else
Claire met someone else at the same time, called Becca, with whom she entered into a relationship.
They Didn’t Want Him Around
For one reason or another, Becka didn’t want OP in the picture. The result? The new couple requested that he cancel his paternal rights.
It Wasn’t an Easy Decision
Torn between wanting to be present for his child and knowing Claire and Becka didn’t want him there, OP went back and forth on the decision. Eventually, though, he decided it’d be best to agree to the request.
Now They Want Him to Pay Child Support
13 years passed since he waived his paternal rights and everyone went their separate ways. But now Claire and Becka are having problems and asking him to pay child support. This has put him in a quandary…
Legally, He Doesn’t Have To
Having officially waived his paternal rights, the court has already said that OP’s under no legal obligation to pay anything. Yet that hasn’t stopped his ex from kicking up a fuss…
His Ex Isn’t Happy
Despite the court’s ruling and the fact she didn’t want him around in the first place, Claire’s now calling him insulting names and even contacting OP’s family to drag them into the argument.
He’s Understanding, But Thinks It’s Unfair
OP’s sympathetic and can see their side of the argument, but also thinks what’s happening is unfair and inappropriate.
Was OP In the Wrong?
OP turned to Reddit to get other people’s perspective. Was he the bad guy here? Or did people agree that his ex was actually in the wrong?
Reddit’s On His Side
The overwhelming majority of responses were on OP’s side.
“They wanted your parental rights and responsibilities terminated, they’ve been terminated.” Said one.
Another agreed, saying “OP had only done what they asked. Now they wanna take it back? These people are trying to yank him around as they please. Glad OP got out of that situation.”
They Made Their Bed
Most agreed that his ex and her partner didn’t deserve any support because they got what they wanted. In essence, just because they’re now going through a tough time, they want to have their cake and eat it.
“They didn’t want you to be a dad, so you aren’t a dad. They’re only regretting their decision now because they need money. If you consider helping out financially, you need to insist that you also be allowed to have a relationship with your kid with no secrets about why you haven’t been around. The kid deserves to know that the only reason you weren’t around is because of their moms.” Said the top-rated comment.
Is It Really About the Kid?
Many people who responded were suspicious of his ex’s motives. Was it really about helping the child? Or is it all about the money?
One person said, “He wanted to be a father, but there was no place for him in their family. Still isn’t – just for his money.” Another commented that “She and Becca told you to **** off, but now they want you as a bank.”
He Doesn’t Owe Them Anything
Other people reassured OP that he shouldn’t feel bad about not paying.
The same user who said Claire only wanted to use OP as a bank continued, “IF you do still want a relationship with your child, put forth this offer: Ask for split custody and parental rights instead. No child support. If there’s split custody then your ex only has to house and feed him 50% of the time which relieves a significant economic burden. They’ll obviously say no, because it’s never about relieving their economic burden, they just want an easy way to your money. At which point cut them out and rebut anyone that complaints with “I made them an offer, they refused. That’s the end of my cares”. Though also keep in mind, you owe them nothing.”
What’s Your Opinion?
Ultimately, there are two sides to every story. Reddit only received OP’s version of events. Who knows if everything went down exactly how he said?
If people heard from Claire and Becka, perhaps the verdict from the Reddit community would be different. Nevertheless, if what OP said is true, is it fair for someone you were with over a decade ago, who asked you not to be part of the child’s life, to then turn around and demand child support?
Probably not. But what do you think? Is there another perspective here? Should he pay his ex or not? Drop a comment with your opinion.
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1 thought on “She Broke Up With Him 13 Years Ago To Be With Another Woman. Now She’s Demanding Child Support. Should He Pay?”
He owes absolutely nothing & she’s insulting wrong to even ask, how dare she?!? You dont get to play games with people’s emotions…the guy & the child. You make a decision….STAND by it & don’t ask for help later on. As a father, I do really hope at some point the guy will be in a position to somehow be in the kid’s life….but not on the “mother’s” terms.