20 Things You Can Never Fully Understand Until You Go Through Them

Written By Wise Healthy n Wealthy

Some experiences are so profound that words alone cannot capture their essence. They can only be understood by those who have lived through them. Here is a list of 20 such deeply personal experiences shared by individuals on Reddit:

20. “Abusive Parents.”

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“The amount of times I’ve been told “they love you, they have your best interests at heart” is unreal. But it’s simply because they can’t fathom the opposite.”

“Having difficult relationships with parents is tough. You are programmed from birth to love them and rely on them. When they hurt you, it really screws you up. It’s hard to cut them out of your life, but it’s equally hard to deal with them.”

19. “Living Under a Dictatorship.”

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“People who lived their whole life in a democratic country have no idea how truly lucky they are.”

“It’s not aspects of only communism but dictature as a whole. The trends indicate the people in power are setting up the scene to form a totalitarian regime, that’s why you’ve noticed the patterns with Russia.”

18. “Having to leave a cheating partner.”

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“It’s easy to judge those that stay but don’t understand how extremely hard and painful it is to leave despite the betrayal.”

“It always leaves that hole, your heart wants you to stay but the anxiety that lingers is crippling, it helps when they’re remorseful and are making sure they’re re-earning that trust but it’ll always always be at the back of your mind.”

17. Being from a minority group

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“I don’t think people understand what it’s like to be a minority that’s generally looked down upon. There’s just a thousand cuts to your self-confidence and happiness.”

“It also hurts when you try to tell people about your experience and it is ultimately shrugged off. “I haven’t seen stuff like that happen/ I don’t see it” of course you don’t see it, you are not the one living it.”

16. Miscarriage

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“One big thing I think people don’t understand how common it is. I was shocked when I found our how many women I know have had miscarriages. And there are for sure some I still don’t know about.”

“And specifically miscarriage from a Woman’s point of view. My wife and I have had two miscarriages. While it was certainly difficult and sad, I did not have the same connection that my wife had. I hadn’t really sacrificed anything for the pregnancies but she had already dealt with morning sickness, tiredness, and changes to her body. It makes a big difference on the impact a miscarriage can have.”

15. War

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“Even a small glimpse will change your outlook on life.”

“Don’t forget that there are multiple experiences of war. Being under occupation, being under daily shelling, being under occasional missile strike, having friends/relatives at the front, being at the front, but in support role, being in assault brigade, etc, etc.”

14. Death of a spouse

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“It’s like losing your best mate. That someone who instinctively knows what’s on your mind, be it good or bad. Someone who will always want to celebrate your successes and commiserate your failures without expecting anything in return. Been near 3 years for me. I miss her every day.”

“Lost my mom, but can never imagine what my dad went through. I was lucky to have him step up when others may not, understandably, be able to. His strength is literal wealth.”

13. Caregiving for someone who’s disabled

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“People think it’s just so amazing and that you should always be chipper and never say anything bad about someone who’s disabled. My fiance’s brother is DD, and their mom was literally bankrupt by it. It also affected her health negatively. I refuse to allow that to happen to us, but it’s very possible it’ll negatively affect us in many ways.”

“My eldest daughter is severely developmentally delayed and severely autistic. At 8 years old she has the mind of a 1 – 2 year old. In addition to the actual challenges of looking after someone like this, the stress and sadness of knowing she may (almost certainly won’t) be normal is like an extra bonus of s***.”

12. Having Kids

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“I thought I knew and then I had one. Oof. It’s not all bad, I just remember planning things out while I was pregnant, then I had her and nothing is going as planned lol. It’s funny watching people who are expecting say things like, “I will never do x” etc, because it’s so different after you actually have one.”

“Nothing could have prepared me for the emotional and mental side of becoming a parent. The anxiety that I developed in regards to my childrens’ well-being and safety. The intrusive thoughts about it. The toll that lack of sleep took on me in the beginning…”

11. PTSD Flashbacks

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“It’s not like a memory in the slightest. It’s like you are actually there, they affect everything that you do from getting shopping or dropping your kids off at school.”

“Someone who hears a car backfire might not just have had a fright – they may have relived everyone around them getting killed. It’s serious stuff and there are a lot of people out there that think they have it, but when you actually have it it’s terrifying.”

10. “The rush of performing in a band to a full venue of people digging your music.”

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“I really f****** want to experience that again. I miss my band days!”

“It almost makes putting up with your band mates worth it. Almost.”

“This is one of the best feelings on the entire planet. Better than s**, better than drugs.”

9. Addiction

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“Believe it or not, people don’t wake up one day and say “Ya know what, I think I’ll try some heroin or whatever and live a life addicted! I grew up around addiction and have suffered myself. It isn’t easy, and there certainly isn’t one simple solution to it!”

“Might I add: being the family of someone suffering with addiction.”

8. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

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“Not being a neat-freak, the real thing. And I wouldn’t want anyone to experience it. Not only is it distressing and debilitating (which most people can have a basic idea of) but what no-one ever mentions is that until you’re diagnosed with it, you think you’re literally going mad.”

“People always go “haha I need the shelves to be tidy because I have OCD.” Meanwhile I took twenty minutes to put on socks this morning because I forgot which ones are safe and which are dangerous, and I’m still considering just throwing them all out and starting again.”

7. “Abusive relationships.”

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“I hate to say it but I was one of those “just leave” people in the past. Then it happened to me.”

“It really looks so black and white until it’s happening to you and you don’t know what to believe. There is always good to focus on during the bad.”

“I always wondered how someone could even get into an abusive relationship, let alone stay in one. Then I was stuck in one for 3 years & it took another year for me to actually completely get him out of my life because it’s not as easy as just leaving.”

6. Aging

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“Oh we were so foolish in our youth I did not believe your back could actually hurt.”

“When you’re young you see older people as the age they are. As you age, you see people you’ve known for many years as something completely separate from their age because you’ve known them at so many different ages. You don’t think about their age much at all.”

5. Migraines

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“Hear so many people not believe they are real/bad until they get one themselves.”

“I see people saying “I’ve got such a migraine today” in the middle of the day while they’re actively doing stuff. Even had someone say that before going for a workout…Calling your slightly worse than normal headache a migraine is such a f****** stupid thing and p***** me off so much.”

4. Grief

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“I never knew what to say to someone going through it before I truly experienced it. And still, it is tough coming up with correct wording. A friend once told me, “There’s nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. But I will be here for you.” And that was real af and I think the perfect thing to say to someone grieving a death.”

“Grief was emptiness, in its purest form. Mourning felt like every bright and warm thing that composed who I was as a person had been hollowed out, only to be replaced by a void I didn’t know how to fill. When my father died, I realized that I never really knew what emptiness was until that moment.”

3. Chronic pain

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“There’s no way to describe the weight of chronic pain.”

“Even after relatively normal stuff like getting wisdom teeth out, or simple medical procedures or during sickness where I’ve been in pain for a few days, I always imagine being someone experiencing that level of pain, with the knowledge that it won’t be gone in a couple of days and there is little or no relief. Not sure I could cope tbh.”

2. Depression

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“People think it’s just a bad mood and shrug it off, thinking it can be overcome by discipline and willpower.”

“That’s so true. Also, anxiety. People will say, “Just don’t worry about it,” and it’s like, “Why didn’t I think of that? I just won’t worry!” It’s hard to explain that it’s a brain thing that you can’t control.”

“I have heard/read so many stories of these pumped-up, overclocked succeeders thinking it’s weakness or laziness, and then report they finally understand once they got it themselves.”

1. Poverty

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“Everything is more expensive. Can’t afford to stock up? Pay more per unit. Can’t afford decent shoes? End up paying more for multiple pairs. The ATM messed up and didn’t dispense $300 and now the cash-only mechanic won’t give you your car back and you can’t go to work and consequently you now lose even more money? Yeah…it’s like that…”

“A lot of people assume (incorrectly) that poor people are just lazy. A lot of the time it’s the circumstances. Someone could be trying as hard as possible to get out of poverty and doing all the right things but just can’t catch a break. It’s not black and white.”



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