Upset by her husband’s repeated no-shows at doctor visits, a pregnant woman decided not to reveal the baby’s gender to him. This decision, however, sparked a heated debate within the family. Who’s in the wrong? Here’s the full story, as told on Reddit:
It’s Their First Baby
The Original Poster (OP) starts by explaining that she’s pregnant with her and her husband’s first baby. They’re both excited, but there’s a problem…
He Doesn’t Attend Appointments
OP’s frustrated because her husband very rarely attends any of their baby-related appointments with the doctor. Worse still, the excuses he gives for why he can’t go aren’t – in her opinion – valid…
His Excuses Aren’t Excuses
According to OP, her husband chooses to miss these appointments so he can go to a soccer game or for a drink with his friends instead. When she confronts him about it, he says, “I’m not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the doctor with you?” Needless to say, this doesn’t go down well with OP.
The Final Straw
The final straw for OP occurred the week before she posted to Reddit. Her husband was meant to go with her to the gender reveal appointment. But, guess what? He didn’t go. Why? Because one of his friends invited him to go out for fish and chips.
OP Was Livid
Despite feeling furious, OP didn’t make a fuss about it. She simply took her mom along to the appointment instead and decided to enact her revenge another way…
She Wouldn’t Tell Him
After the appointment, her husband sent her a text message to ask whether it was a boy or a girl. OP refused to say. He kept calling but she simply hung up. Then, later on, when he got home, he was angry and demanded to know the gender. Again, OP held her ground.
He’ll Have to Wait
OP was blunt. She told her husband that if he wasn’t willing to go to the appointment, then she wasn’t willing to tell him the results. He’d simply have to wait until the birth and no, she wasn’t going to change her mind.
He’s Furious
OP’s husband was furious. He called her immature and spiteful, saying he had a right to know the gender of his child. When that didn’t work, he started calling her dramatic. After all, she wasn’t even by herself. Her mom went with her.
He Got His Family Involved
Her husband must have said something to his family because OP’s in-laws then got in touch, too. They told her to stop playing mind games and reveal the gender to him. Again, OP said no.
Is She In the Wrong?
OP turned to Reddit to get other people’s perspective. Was she the bad guy here? Should she listen to her husband and his in-laws and tell him the big news, despite this decision not to be at the appointment? Reddit didn’t think so…
Reddit’s On Her Side
As you might expect, people on Reddit were 100% behind her. The comments that poured in sympathised with her position and were heavily critical of the husband. The most popular comment received an impressive 75.5k upvotes. It read, “Already a deadbeat dad before the baby is even born.”
He’s the Bad Guy
Another person chimed in, saying “I would drop a friend if I found out they prioritized fish n chips over their wife and baby’s doctor appointment.” Then someone else raised the point that “If he’s telling you “I’m not carrying the baby why do I have to go to the doctor with you” that’s going to turn into “I didn’t push that baby out, why should I look after it!!” Reeeealll quick.”
The Message He’s Sending
According to people on Reddit, her husband’s choices reveal his priorities. One person wrote, “You need to seriously reconsider this relationship. He’s showing you that he and his friends are more important than you and the baby. He sees going to appointments with you as punishment, not as a chance to make sure you and the baby are healthy.”
What Do You Think?
So, who’s side are you on? Is OP being unfair for withholding this information from her husband? Or is it a reasonable punishment for his decision(s) to skip appointments? And, as people on Reddit think, what does it say about their relationship and his commitment to it? Drop a comment with your thoughts.
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Source: Reddit.