14 Things You Should Never Call Your Pet Pooch (According to the Internet)

Written By Wise Healthy n Wealthy

The internet has spoken, and it’s compiled a list of the worst dog names imaginable. From the ethically questionable to the downright cringe-worthy, get ready for a rollercoaster ride down 14 of Reddit’s “doggy name hall of shame.”

14. “Kevin.”

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“I once knew a dog named Kevin. He was, absolutely, a f******* Kevin.”

“As a Kevin, I represent that.”

“Kevin is absolutely the worst name for a dog. “Get over here Kevin!””

13. “Lucky.”

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“These dogs are always the most unlucky.”

“Every animal I know that had the name lucky was unlucky as hell. Never name an animal like that.”

12. “Dior” and “Gabbana.”

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“Huh. My mom used to be friends with a guy whose dogs were named Dior and Gabbana.

Everyone thought he was gay because of those names, because of the into fashion = gay stereotype; turned out, his girlfriend was the one who actually named them.”

11. “Keith.”

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“It’s such a human name that doesn’t belong on a dog.”

“It’s weird how much that name has fallen out of favor. It was pretty popular for boys back in the 1970s and then poof, it was gone.”

10. “Woody.”

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“My big dumb yellow lab was named Woody (my family loved Toy Story). I wish I was old enough at the time to appreciate the humor of our giant Woody getting out and chasing kids around the neighborhood. Or the fact that I exclusively referred to him as “My Woody” when speaking about my dog. I vaguely remember a teacher very concernedly listening into me telling another kid how I didn’t like it when my step dad hit My Woody. I thought it was concern about animal abuse but thinking about it now I’m positive she was concerned about something else.”

9. “Dammit” and “Woman.”

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“My father was an alcoholic who got two bloodhounds after my mother divorced him. He named one “Dammit” and the other “Woman” and let them roam freely (a little out in the country). So you’d hear him drunk at night calling the dogs by making a godawful “b-arrrrroooo” bloodhound type sound then yelling ‘Dammit! Woman!’”

8. “Kitty.”

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“My dad has a dog named “kitty”. It confused the heck out of my 2 and 3 year olds.”

“I have a dog named Kitty…Everytime we try to buy a collar and says it’s for Kitty, the worker always points us to cat section.”

7. “D.O.G.”

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“My best friends dog is named “D.O.G.” said as Deogie.”

“I work at a vet clinic. We have a Deogie, a Deogee, and a D.O.G.; all are pronounced the same.”

6. “Peanuts.”

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“The last dog my parents got had a bunch of small brown spots on her coat. My dad was convinced “Peanuts” was the perfect name. I told him to go outside and loudly call for Peanuts. He quickly realized that name was a bad idea.”

“A friend of a friend’s family made that mistake when naming the new puppy that quickly bonded with their young daughter. They realize the mistake when the puppy got out and their daughter ran down the street after it frantically screaming “Peanuts” over and over at the top of her lungs. The dog’s name was quickly changed to Peanut.”

5. “Sixty-Nine.”

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“I used to live across the street from a tweaker who would let out her dog at all hours and then call it back by its name in a gravelly voice: ‘Sixty-nine! Sixty-nine!’”

4. “Stinky cheese.”

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“I met a family at the dog beach near my house with the sweetest Lil dachshund. I said what’s his name. The mom says quietly mortified, “stinky cheese”…the kids named him.”

“I love names that make pet owners cringe. We used to have a cat at the vet practice I work at named Captain Bunny Pants. Mrs. named him but Mr. did most of the vet pick ups and always looked like he wanted to melt into the floor when he said it…I knew him on sight but still asked for his pet’s name every time as a result.”

3. “Stay.”

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“And his brother Sit.”

“Come here, Stay!”

“Now you owe Stephen Wright six cents”

2. “Debbie.”

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“Once I heard my neighbor screaming at a “Debbie.” I thought it was his wife and that it was a domestic dispute. Nope. Debbie was his dog.”

“‘Damn it Debbie you **** on the couch again! Outside with you!’”

1. “Help.”

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“I have four dogs: Please, Someone, Help and Me.”

“My dad heard a neighbor screaming Fire!! Fire!! In the middle of the night. Turned out to be her cat. This reminds me of that.”

 

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