A woman turned to Reddit after a run-in with a nosy co-worker, fresh on the scene and eager for gossip, who persistently demanded to know her successful husband’s salary. Sick of their probing and unwilling to indulge their curiosity, she told her where to stick it. Tears followed, but who’s the bad guy? Here’s the full story…
Her Husband’s Super Successful
The Original Poster (OP) has been with her husband ever since college. They’re both aged 33 now, and, while they’re both successful, her husband’s career has skyrocketed. She says he’s a “quant PM and makes 10x” what she does – not bad considering she makes good money, too.
People Get Nosy
OP has found that people in her life have become nosier about how much he/they earn as they’ve got older. In the past, she’d go along with their “nosy questions.” But for the last few years she’s taken the opposite tack…
She Doesn’t Tell People His Salary
Nowadays, if anyone asks her how much her husband earns, she doesn’t tell them. It’s easier that way. OP says she learned through experience that “giving an exact number can have bad consequences.” Enter her new colleague…
Her Co-Worker Has a Reputation
After setting everything in context, OP explains that she has a new colleague at work who’s about eight years younger than her. This woman was developed “quite the reputation” already. According to OP, she’s “chatty, catty, gossipy” and so on and so forth; it’s obvious she’s desperate for money and status…
She’s Focused on Life’s Finer Things
OP says this last piece of her co-worker’s personality is apparent from what she wears and how she acts at work. She’s always sporting “flashy designer items” and goes around the office asking the other female employees which men are available.
They Had a Chat
Recently, OP’s co-worker came up to her at an office event and start asking about their recent trip to Europe. With the conversational niceties behind them, though, she moved on to other things…
She Asked About Her Husband’s Salary
After OP had told her about the trip, her co-worker started asking about her husband and his line of work. When OP replied that he works in finance, she instantly started trying to find out how much he earns. OP told her he makes good money, but when her colleague hazarded a guess that it could be in the millions, she refused to say.
It Got Steadily More Heated
Neither of them backed down, though, and the conversation heated up. It ended up with OP’s colleague laughing in her face and saying, “You’d think the stuck-up one would be the one with money, not the one without!” To which OP replied, “You should learn to take ‘no’ for an answer and when to quit being a nosy b****.”
Her Co-Worker Was Upset
After that “mic drop” moment, OP walked away. However, other people in the office later reached out to say she’d made the younger woman cry. They said OP should apologize for what she’d called her. OP declined, but when she told her mom what happened, even she suggested OP was in the wrong. Apparently, her co-worker is just young and naïve; OP shouldn’t have been rude.
Her Husband Was On Her Side
The only person who seemed to agree with OP’s reaction was her husband, who was “fully on [her] side.” His only comment was that maybe she could say sorry purely to smooth things over in the office. OP wonders if that’s a good idea, too, but still wanted to know if she was in the wrong…
What Did Reddit Think?
OP turned to Reddit to see what other people online thought. The verdict? They were definitely on her side. The top comment said: “I know women like her. The type to find out it’s ‘millions’ and then starts sleazing all over your husband.” Someone else wrote: “Report her to HR. She kind of low key tried to get to know His salary so she can hang on him and be his girlfriend.”
Turn the Question around Next Time
Someone else on Reddit suggested a different way OP could respond if this situation arises again in future. They wrote: “I have always found ‘Why do you ask?’ is more effective than vague answers to unacceptably personal questions. If that fails to end it, still don’t give any answers. ‘That’s not something I discuss outside my family & my tax guy.’”
What Do You Think?
So what’s your perspective? Could/should OP have handled the situation differently/better? Was she in the wrong? Or was she entitled to respond that way after her co-worker was so insistent? Drop a comment with your thoughts!
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The images in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent anybody in the story.