Ah, the first date — a mix of high hopes, butterflies, and the potential for more. We’ve all taken that plunge, but oh boy, sometimes things don’t go to plan, right? Today, we’re diving into the world of first-date disasters. Here are 14 crazy, unfortunate, and unforgettable first-date horror stories from a recent Reddit post.
14. The Date With the Bagpiper
“I asked about his hobbies, and he said, “I play the bagpipes.” I thought that was really cool and asked him to tell me more. He says, “Are you sure?” I said, “Yes”. He proceeds to go on about bagpipes for the rest of the night. How he felt playing the bagpipes was his calling in life, how he needed to carry his grandfather’s legacy (who also played the bagpipes), how his dream was to play bagpipes for the queen, his favorite brand of bagpipes, the anatomy of bagpipes…every topic was somehow turned back to bagpipes. To be fair, I did say yes to him telling me more. I hope he’s doing well and found someone just as passionate about bagpipes.”
13. The Date With the Psycho Driver
“I had a date that wasn’t drinking. I was, so I asked her for a lift home. She was the most psycho driver I’ve ever been in a car with. As soon as we pulled out of the car park, we hit a red light, and when it went green, she overtook the car in front that was turning right at full throttle. We were also turning right, so we ended up on the wrong side of the road around the bend, which we couldn’t see. The rest of the journey was like being a rally co-driver. When we pulled into my driveway, she was shaking. She said she was really nervous, so I don’t know if it was the nerves, she’s just mental, or she was on something else.”
12. The Date With Countless Red Flags
“1) He tried to force a kiss. 2) He tried to get me to agree to marry him the following week. No, he wasn’t an immigrant. 3) He said women were stupid and would believe anything he told them. I am a woman. 4) He said it was OK to drown puppies. It was “actually humane.” 5) He swore that it was impossible to get AIDS if you were straight. Found out a week later that he knew the whole time he was HIV positive. That’s just some of them.”
11. The Date(s) That Shared Very Personal Information
“Being told. “The welts on my c****h aren’t contagious.”
“A friend of mine met a girl at a wedding, and things were going pretty well until she told him she was having a medical issue. In her words, “The doctor said it might be gonorrhea, but the pus is the wrong color.”
10. The Disrespectful Date
“She kept writing to her friends on WhatsApp a play-by-play of the date instead of listening to me, so I stood up, paid for my dinner, and left because I found it [super] disrespectful.”
“I had something similar. The first date seemed to be going well, but he was on his phone constantly. He apologized and said work was busy and he was just having to do some important things. He was in a band, so I naively assumed he was trying to organize a deal or a show. It was a little irritating, but I let it slide. When I got home, I realized he’d be tweeting our entire date, updating his followers with a play-by-play of what went on. Luckily, he was quite nice to me, but I still decided never to see him again.”
9. The Date With the Dark Fantasy
“This story is always fun to tell: Basically, we got back to her place after dinner and were getting slightly freaky on the couch. As things started escalating, she pulled out a giant glass jar (like the ones with the finger loop thing that pirates put rum in) half full of a clear liquid. [I] asked her if it was moonshine or vodka or something. She then proceeded to explain to me that it’s pure GHB and that she has a fetish about getting drugged off of it before having ***, and she said that with a completely serious face. For those of you who don’t know, GHB is a date **** drug. She then went to the restroom, and I noped out of there so fast that I practically levitated off the couch. Never spoke to her again.”
8. The Girl Who Trusted Her Instincts
“Nothing obvious or overt, but from the minute we sat down to eat, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I felt unsafe. He was polite, listened, and polished but could not shake that feeling. I drove to the restaurant to meet, so he did not know where I lived. After dinner, he asked for another date, and I just said no, “I don’t think we are a good match.” I gave him money to pay for my half and said goodbye. When I got to the door, I turned around, and he was staring at me with an expression I never hope to see again. I ran to my car, moved it to another spot, and waited until he left before I left so he could not follow. The restaurant was on an isolated road, so that was safer than having him catch up to me. Found out that about a year later, he was sent to prison for the assault and **** of 2 different women. It happened on their first dates. Never used a dating site again.”
7. The Date That Was Fascinated With the Waiter
“One was the time I took this girl to dinner, and she could not stop staring at our waiter. I’ll grant her one thing – I’m a guy and can admit this guy was probably totally hot for anyone who prefers men. Square-jawed and muscled college athlete type. I get it.
But I didn’t appreciate that she literally craned her neck every time the kitchen door swung open to see if he was walking out. Eventually, I gave her enough cash to pay for my part of the meal, told her I’d noticed (as though I couldn’t have), and suggested she could get his contact info when she paid the bill and left.”
6. The Date With the Emergency D
“Guess I’ll repost this here. She kept talking about the “emergency d**k” she had stashed around the city. She was like, “I’ve been really busy with [grad] school, but I don’t go without. I have plenty of emergency d**k around town.” And when I say she kept going on, I mean she KEPT GOING ON. She was telling me about the two guys downtown, three in the suburbs, one near campus, and two in her apartment complex. It honestly sounded like I was new to town, and she was giving me a rundown of all the best places to visit. Just weird. She said she was looking to settle down into a relationship (whereas she had only been in situationships before).”
5. The Date That Already Had a Boyfriend
“Went to dinner with a girl I’d been crushing on for quite some time. It seemed to be going well, and we ended up back at her place, watching a movie or something. Out of nowhere, her boyfriend (of whom I was not aware) came back from out of town and stopped in unexpectedly. He and I had a super awkward conversation for a few minutes, and then they disappeared into another room for a minute or two. She returned and said something to the effect of, “I don’t have a place for you. I’m sorry.” I got in my car and drove home with one of the strangest feelings I’d ever felt. At some point, a few minutes into the journey, I couldn’t contain myself and busted out laughing.”
4. The Date(s) That Took a Shady Turn
“He got us pulled over, the car was searched, and he had a brick of coke in the trunk. I almost got arrested. He finally vouched that this was a blind date and I was innocent.”
“That reminds me of a date I had as a teen. A guy I was with drove into the seedy area of town, got out of the car, and said he’d be right back. He came back with a handful of money. He handed it to me and asked me to count it. It turned out he was a coke dealer. Nerdiest guy ever. Last time I saw him.”
3. The Date With the Evil Twin
“Met a girl at a friend’s party. We were both in our mid-20s. Ended up spending three hours talking, and she was so funny, charming, gorgeous, and carefree. I asked her out and got a wonderful “I would love to!” from her. I showed up about four days later at the restaurant she picked, one within walking distance of her place. She arrived about five minutes later. “Nice place,” I say as I get her chair for her. “Since it’s so close, do you eat here often?” She scowls and responds, “You know, you ask too many ******* questions.”
I was floored. Everything continued downhill from there. Within about 20 minutes, she just got up and left. I felt as if she had failed to tell me the other night that she had an evil twin, and that’s who showed up this evening. Later, when I ran into my buddy, I asked what the heck was up. “Oh yeah,” he said, “she’s a piece of work until she gets a few drinks. After that, she’s adorable.” Thanks. Thanks a lot, buddy.”
2. The Date That Didn’t Go As Planned
“I picked her up, and she asked me if we could stop by her mom’s house so she could “run in and grab something,” I said sure. Made the stop. She went inside. 5 minutes later, she came out hustling towards the car with a car seat and her mom chasing after her, yelling. She opens the car door, throws the car seat (which I now see has a baby in it), and starts yelling at me to drive. I freaked, just turned my car off, and took the keys out of the ignition.
Her mom called the cops, and they came and questioned all of us for a good while. Turns out she had lost custody due to drug use and was trying to use me as a way to get her kid back. We never made it to dinner, and I just went home after the cops left.”
1. The Creepy First Date
“He took it out. And I don’t mean this in a funny “unexpected Seinfeld” kind of way (although I suppose it IS that). I mean, he leaned across the table and whispered, “I’m out.” I said, “Excuse me?” For some reason, my first thought was, “Out of the closet.” He said, “Out, under the table. Look under the table.” And, like an idiot, I LOOKED. Then he said, “That’s what you do to me.” I said, “This is what you do to me,” and left.”
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