A young man’s dad just told him he was born from an affair his mom had 18 years ago. But that’s not all – there are more shocking family secrets to uncover. He posted the whole story on Reddit, asking for advice on what to do next. How should he handle these revelations?
His Dad Isn’t His Dad
The Original Poster (OP) is an 18-year-old guy who was getting ready to go to college. At the start of his post, he explains he’d just been told – by the man he thought was his biological father – that he’s actually the product of an affair his mom had with another man. And that’s not all…
His “Dad” Won’t Pay For College
That wasn’t the only revelation to hit OP like a freight train. His “dad” also said he isn’t willing to support OP financially anymore. That means no college – despite the fact he’d covered literally everything (tuition, rent, food, vehicles, spending money, and so on) for both of OP’s siblings.
His Mom Had 18 Years to Tell Him
OP’s “Dad” didn’t stop there. He said his mom had had 18 years to tell OP the truth and get him prepared for the future, but had chosen not to. And, because OP wasn’t his son, it wasn’t his place to explain the situation. Apparently, he “didn’t want to interfere with mom’s parenting.”
Other Family Members Knew, Too
OP’s siblings didn’t know any of this either and were as surprised as he was to find out. However, the same couldn’t be said for his grandparents. OP discovered that they knew he wasn’t his dad’s biological son all along, but they just “haven’t bothered to tell [him].”
It Was a Life-Altering Shock
It goes without saying this shook OP to his core. Everything he thought he knew about his family and future had been taken from him. He says he always thought his relationship with his dad was great. They did father-son activities together all the time, like watching sports and going fishing. There was never any sign his dad felt any resentment toward him.
OP Felt Abandoned
OP’s mom had apparently been supposed to tell him all of this in the past but simply hadn’t. Now that he’s finally found out, he feels “abandoned and unprepared for what lies ahead.” Will he be able to go to college anymore? Maybe not. After all, he has no savings – he’d always assumed (understandably, given the treatment his siblings got) that his parents would pay for it.
His Mom Wasn’t Helping
Since he found out, OP has simply locked himself away in his bedroom. His mom hasn’t done anything apart from “cry and apologize.” He’s angry with her and unsure where he stands with his dad. Is he even welcome in the home?
OP Didn’t Know What to Do
OP felt at a complete loss. The rug ripped from beneath his feet, he said he has “no idea what to do to fix this situation.” Should he apologize to his dad? What would he even say? What does Reddit suggest?
Reddit Offered Practical Advice
The top comments on Reddit were those with practical advice for how OP could overcome his situation. The top comment started by recommending he have a calm chat with his mom to found out where he stands. They then suggested he apply for simple jobs to start saving for college, to apply to community college instead, then think about student loans from credit unions, scholarships, and so on.
Others Sympathized and Suggested He Call Siblings
Another top comment asked simply, “And no one is standing up and having your back?” Someone else suggested, “You need to give your siblings a call.” And one Redditor said, “It isn’t your shame. Don’t even think of picking that s*** up and carrying it. They are in the wrong…not you…not in any way whatsoever. They should be apologizing to you. That is a f***** up thing to do to a person.”
OP Gave an Update
Soon after OP’s original post, he posted again with an update. Apparently, he’d managed to have a chat with his parents and, while there’s still a lot to process, things were almost back to “normal.”
It turns out his mom and dad had had a big argument that raised some past grievances, which – on top of other family stresses going on at the time – led his dad to reveal the truth and threaten to take away his college fund. That’s no longer happening. His parents have since made up and OP knows they both love him; college was back on the cards.
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