If you hold strong opinions about pizza toppings, then this list is just for you. Reddit users recently came together to discuss “pizza crimes” that are utterly inexcusable (yes, pineapple’s on the list). Take a look:
15. “Bad Base.”
“If the base is not good I can’t enjoy pizza at all. It’s no longer pizza.”
“Cannot agree more. Also, if anyone uses a rolling pin or other such device to flatten out the base, you release all air produced by the yeast and end up with a thick and dense base, which is not nice at all.”
14. “Broccoli.”
“Congratulations, San Francisco, you ruined pizza!”
“My ex-wife used to eat only Broccoli-Spinach pizza. Nothing against Broccoli or Spinach…but on a pizza? What did it do to deserve it?”
13. “Ranch.”
“That’s just a plain silly take.”
“Here in Britain, not many places do ranch from what I know. Found a place that did it while drunk and decided to try just dipping a slice in some ranch. It’s awful.”
12. “Too Much Meat.”
“When the dude-bro in the group orders & just says “I’ll get a bunch of meat, cool?” Sure I love a meaty pizza. But then they go too far & your pepperoni, ham, bacon, canadian bacon, sausage & ground beef pizza just tastes like salt & grease.”
“This totally – ‘5 meats’ is way too much. Even when drunk. (That’s when sausage jalapeño enters the room).”
“Yeah, a good pizza has like one or two meats on it and one or two veggies.”
12. “Gluten-free crust.”
“Sure, I eat it. Because I love pizza. BUT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. Of all the GF substitutes that exist, pizza crust is one thing that has not been accurately replicated.”
“I will HAPPILY live with pain in my stomach for a day to eat a good pizza with gluten because they are GROSS when they don’t have gluten (most of the time).”
11. “Anchovies.”
“I come from [an] Asian household so grew up with umami food and “exotic” offerings so I thought anchovy on pizza would be a good idea. I heard people don’t like it, but how bad could it be since I grew up on Asian palate? Got anchovies added to my favorite pizza and it just ruins the whole thing. So inedibly fishy, salty, and a hint of funk.”
“Anchovies are good but get them yourself and put them on after you get the pizza. I don’t care for them hot and baked into it.”
10. “Black olives.”
“…And don’t tell me I can pick then off. They’ve contaminated the whole pie with their vile essence.”
“Every time multiple pizzas were ordered to work, the one with black olives was always the one that didn’t get finished. Without fail.”
9. “Pineapple.”
“I can enjoy pineapple as a standalone food, but people who sincerely enjoy it soggy and hot on pizza are godless heathens with broken taste buds. This is a hill I will die on.”
“I really want to enjoy it but I just can’t.”
“Had to scroll way too far to find this.”
8. “Provel cheese.”
“…Sorry St. Louis.”
“I’ve heard mixed reviews about provel. People either swear it’s the best or they hate it!”
“Yeah I grew up on it so I enjoy it from time to time. Now I like other pizzas more but it is very nostalgic to me. I also understand how nasty it is for anyone who didn’t grow up eating it.”
7. “Overcooked thin and crispy.”
“Had that once. Felt like I flushed money.”
“I love the crunch but hate that my mouth is lacerated for days!”
6. “Tomato sauce that’s sweet like sugar has been added.”
“Saaame. Perfectly aware some sugar is in the recipe but sometimes it’s like a goddamn prank.”
“Sweet sauce is disgusting. When I make pizza it’s crushed tomatoes with some sea salt. That’s it. You don’t need any sugar, let alone enough to make the sauce sweet.”
5. “Soggy bottom and/or canned vegetables.”
“Soggy pizza is beyond disgusting.”
“A certain Detroit-style pizza chain has some delicious pizza with amazing crust, but I am a lover of mushrooms on pizza…and their mushrooms are clearly canned, and I’m not even sure if they are put on before the pizza is baked, because they are soggy as all hell.”
4. “Over or under done crust.”
“I hate trying to bite through a crust that is burnt.”
“If a pizza you didn’t make yourself is ever burnt get a refund. I used to work at Domino’s they will not question it, policy is very customer friendly. Even if it’s 99% perfect.”
3. “Too much grease.”
“Had a pizza once that would have been amazing, if not for needing a paper towel after every mouthful.”
“There was a place in college where you could get a whole pizza for $5, but you would literally flip it in the box to get the grease off it. It was called the Home Team flip. The cheese miraculously stayed on the pizza and it was decent as long as you did the flip. The good old days…”
2. “When the cheese and tomato sauce are like lava…”
“…and it falls off when you grab a slice.”
“I HATE runny cheese! I’ve had pizza where all the cheese is pushed to one side or the sauce is so watered down that the pizza isn’t edible. So gross, agree.”
1. “The dough not being fully cooked.”
“The proofing is key. Toppings are up to individual taste of course but good, bad, terrible pizza depends on the quality of the base.”
“Pizza is better with a little char on the bottom.”
“My school use to serve pizzas with THE most undercooked dough, I swear those pizzas were LIQUID. 100% agree, cook your pizzas right, people.”
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Source: Reddit.