Here’s to the dads. The socks-and-sandals-sporting, grill-tending, bad-dancing heroes of the household!
They’re known and loved for all sorts. But surely, above anything else, it’s their classic sense of humor that stands out.
Indeed, the “dad joke” is legendary the whole world over. It’s been tormenting teenagers since the dawn of time – prompting groans of complaint and moans of embarrassment that ripple from one generation to the next.
Want to see some of the finest examples known to the internet? Here are 40 dad jokes so bad they’re almost good.
- “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut.”
- A man stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on him.
- Why didn’t the man trust staircases? They were always up to something.
- Why does the man take an extra pair of socks when he plays golf? Just in case he gets a hole in one.
- What do you call a factor that makes okay product? A satisfactory.
- What do you call a magician who lost his magic? Ian.
- What time was the man’s dentist appointment? Tooth hurt-y.
- What’s the number one rule when two slices of bread get married? No toasting.
- What did the janitor shout when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- There was once a man who only knew 25 letters of the alphabet. He didn’t know Y.
- What do you call a dinosaur who asks lots of deep questions? A philosiraptor.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- Why didn’t the man trust the trees? They seemed kind of shady.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- What did one hat say to the other? “Stay here, I’m going on ahead.”
- What do you call a pencil with an eraser on both ends? Pointless.
- “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
- Why didn’t the man like the book about anti-gravity? Because it was impossible to put down.
- “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”
- What do you call someone who sees a crime at the Apple store? An iWitness.
- What did the man say to the cashier who asked if he wanted his milk in a bag? “No thanks, just leave it in the carton.”
- Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
- Why was the man worried about the calendar? Its days were numbered.
- How do you convince a farm girl to be your husband? First, a tractor.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
- “People say they pick their nose, but I reckon I was born with mine.”
- What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
- “Dad, why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?” “Because then it would be a foot.”
- A man built a model of Mount Everest. His son asked him, “Is it to scale?” To which he replied, “No, it’s to look at.”
- How did the man make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
- How do you know when corduroy pillows are in style? They make headlines.
- “Dad, can you play piano by ear?” “No I use my hands.”
- Did you hear about the man who tried to catch the fog? He mist.
- A cheese sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barman says, “sorry we don’t serve food here.”
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
- What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
- What does garlic do when it’s too hot? It takes its cloves off.
- “I could tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.”
This post first appeared on Wise Healthy n Wealthy.
