In the mood for some cheesy one-liners? Then brace yourself, for Reddit users have shared 40 of the worst (or perhaps best?) dad jokes you’ll ever encounter. Warning: you may find yourself simultaneously laughing and eye-rolling despite your best efforts:
1. The One About Haircuts
“Dad, did you get a haircut?”
“No, I got them all cut.”
2. The One About the Sun
A man stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
Then it dawned on him.
3. The One About Staircases and Trust Issues
Why didn’t the man trust staircases?
They were always up to something.
4. The One About Extra Socks for Golf
Why does the man take an extra pair of socks when he plays golf?
Just in case he gets a hole in one.
5. The One About Average Factories
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
6. The One About Magic
What do you call a magician who lost his magic?
7. The One About Dental Pain
What time was the man’s dentist appointment?
8. The One About Bread and Marriage
What’s the number one rule when two slices of bread get married?
9. The One About Janitors
What did the janitor shout when he jumped out of the closet?
10. The One About Alphabets
There was once a man who only knew 25 letters of the alphabet.
He didn’t know Y.
11. The One About Dinosaurs
What do you call a dinosaur who asks lots of deep questions?
12. The One About Oceans and Beaches
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
13. The One About Trees
Why didn’t the man trust the trees?
They seemed kind of shady.
14. The One About Funny Eggs
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
15. The One About Hats
What did one hat say to the other?
“Stay here, I’m going on ahead.”
16. The One About Pencils with Erasers
What do you call a pencil with an eraser on both ends?
17. The One About Shoes
“Dad, can you put my shoes on?”
“No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
18. The One About Anti-Gravity Books
Why didn’t the man like the book about anti-gravity?
Because it was impossible to put down.
19. The One About Overcrowded Graveyards
“This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.”
20. The One About Apple Store Crimes
What do you call someone who sees a crime at the Apple store?
21. The One About Cashiers
What did the man say to the cashier who asked if he wanted his milk in a bag?
“No thanks, just leave it in the carton.”
22. The One About Stealing Calendars
Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
23. The One About Calendar Concerns
Why was the man worried about the calendar?
Its days were numbered.
24. The One About Farm Girls
How do you convince a farm girl to be your husband?
First, a tractor.
25. The One About Tickling Octopuses
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
26. The One About Picking Your Nose
“People say they pick their nose.
But I reckon I was born with mine.”
27. The One About Zero and Eight
What did the 0 say to the 8?
28. The One About Big Noses
“Dad, why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?”
“Because then it would be a foot.”
29. The One About Mount Everest
A man built a model of Mount Everest. His son asked him, “Is it to scale?”
To which he replied, “No, it’s to look at.”
30. The One About Tissues Dancing
How did the man make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
31. The One About Corduroy Pillows
How do you know when corduroy pillows are in style?
They make headlines.
32. The One About Playing Piano
“Dad, can you play piano by ear?”
“No I use my hands.”
33. The One About a Man Catching Fog
Did you hear about the man who tried to catch the fog?
34. The One About Cheese Sandwiches
A cheese sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
35. The One About Award-Winning Scarecrows
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out-standing in his field.
36. The One About Elephants
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
37. The One About Pampered Cows
What do you get from a pampered cow?
38. The One About Monkeys
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
39. The One About Garlic
What does garlic do when it’s too hot?
It takes its cloves off.
40. The One About Pizza
“I could tell you a joke about pizza.
But it’s too cheesy.”
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This post first appeared on Wise Healthy n Wealthy.