Striving to elevate the bedroom experience, a man curated the perfect playlist to set the mood. He then played it every time he and his girlfriend engaged in intimate moments. Almost two years later, his girlfriend confessed her hatred for one particular song on the list. Is his song choice truly a mood kill, as the girlfriend claims? You be the judge:
The Original Poster (OP) starts his tale by rewinding to his first, shall we say…adult encounters. He explains he had no idea what he was doing and felt so awkward that he decided to research ways to improve. In this process, he came across some advice that “playing music and matching the rhythm” can make a difference.
He Created a Special Playlist
OP didn’t need to be told twice. With that piece of internet wisdom under his belt – literally, almost – he set about researching songs that would be perfect for the task at hand. He put together a special playlist “in which [he] was comfortably matching the rhythm.”
There’s One Song He Loves Most
The playlist isn’t very long, but there’s one particular song on there that he likes most. Unfortunately for OP, he just found out that his girlfriend hates it. She says it’s a major buzz kill that ruins the moment for her every time. The problem? It’s taken her two years to tell him…
He Doesn’t Understand
OP was devastated by this revelation. He couldn’t understand why it had taken her so long to say something. From his perspective, it’s the perfect song for the job, with a rhythm that suits him to a tee. He feels like he should have asked his girlfriend about it earlier to see if she felt the same way.
It’s Changed Everything
Worse, OP thought everything had been great in the bedroom for the last two years. Now he’s found out it wasn’t – and all because of the music he’d been playing. Now he feels awkward, embarrassed, and slightly annoyed. After all, he’d played this song almost every time they’d done the deed. While he thought she was enjoying herself, he now realizes she must have been hating it.
It Isn’t Just His Girlfriend
Even worse than that, his girlfriend’s words have made him think about all the other partners for which he played that song in the past. Did they hate it, too?
Everything Feels Awkward Now
OP reveals that this whole affair has had an impact on their relationship. Their adult cuddles don’t feel the same anymore. They’ve started doing things without music. But OP’s so used to keeping in time with the music that it plays in his head. His girlfriend recognized the tune from his movements alone “and asked [him] to stop.”
He Reveals the Song
After bemoaning this sorry state of affairs, OP finally revealed the song itself – Cbat, by Hudson Mohawke. And boy does it make you sympathize for his girlfriend! It also prompted a tidal wave of jokes and comments on Reddit from people who couldn’t believe he’d been playing this for two years before his girlfriend said anything…
Endless Comparisons Were Made
For the most part, people chimed in to suggest things the song sounds like and wonder how on earth he chose it for the job in question. For example, one person wrote, “This sounds like an inflatable clown toy falling down the stairs.” Another said, “I was amused until I heard the song. I can’t stop laughing.”
Many Couldn’t Believe It
One of the most popular comments was a simple expression of incredulity. They wrote: “I just outright refuse to believe this.” Another said, “It must be a joke. That song is INSTANTLY annoying.”
A Ploy to Promote the Song?
A few people even wondered if the whole story was a sham to get people to listen to the song. One said, “100% a post with a made up story to get their music views, right?” Another wrote: “No way can someone be this clueless.”
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